Spam & Mullets: Because who remembers the BAM?

GolferGirl

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Just got back from lunch and it is a nice day today. I had a grilled cheese with tomato and onion on it and soup. It is weird, it is like 60 out and I think it is warm. I guess it shows you can get used to the cold, too. We got a lot done this morning. Chris took me out to Ikea to look for some new stuff for his bigger office. I found some nice sofas and told him to get a new desk that was not some huge hunk of wood like the one he has had for years that I have banged my toes and shins on for years. They had a bathing suit sale at La Vie en Rose, so Chris got a fashion show and I got some new bathing suits because he promised me we are going to travel this summer. He said that Cozumel sounds great and I love it there. He even said maybe we can go to Europe this summer or Japan if we can travel there. I would love both. Especially some place where they have great beaches and sun.

I have dance class in a couple hours. Sam will pick me up and when I get home after 2 and a half hours, I will have dinner with everyone. Later dinner but is lighter, too. We are having fruit salad and some kind of pork things, little circles in pineapple juice. I ate too much, yesterday. That cherry pie was too good and so was the homemade ice cream. Chris made the kind with eggs and shaved chocolate. There were also almonds in it, too. Chris is happy. He liked the game yesterday and he got to watch 2 new Japanese cartoons last night and I liked them too. He told me the one about the basket of fruit is starting again today and I liked that one because the one girl is so nice and giving.

Trying to find the right tights and leotards to wear today. The first outfit I put on, Chris loved because the backside is like a thong. I hated it. I am going with the white floral one with black leggings. It looks better on me, I think. Here I am ready and Sam said she would be here around 4:30 to pick me up and she reminded me to bring a liter of water because the water they sell there is like really expesnive. I guess I will watch some Guy's Grocery Games until Sam comes. Laters.
 

GolferGirl

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Ok, I am still sore. I think I am in pretty good shape, but a couple hours of dancing and I am really bad sore. I soaked in really hot tub last night and this morning, I did a sit in the sauna but I still feel like all my leg muscles are going to explode. Chris went out to get me lunch. I wanted to go with but every little step was killing me. I am old and I feel it. Do not be like Chris who tells me that 52 is not old. It is old. Tomorrow will be more jazz dancing and I cannot wait for the hula classes later this month. I think I can make that work, I got hips and Chris says I can make them move so I might survive that class. I will not lie, I love the class and I am hoping to get my legs and backside into the same shape as Sam's. I know she is like 15 years younger than me, but I still would love to not have love handles on my butt. I have seen the pictures and it looks like I am carrying 2 puppies on my hips.

Yay, Chris is back with lunch. He got me a barbecue chicken salad and some grapes. He already has dinner going. He is making chipotle rubbed ribs and they are in the pressure cooker so he can barbecue them tonight. He made a macaroni and potato salad like at 6 and even though both are fattening, I think I will be ok. He was going to make tacos tonight but he forgot to pull out the ground pork and chicken. He said he loved the game but I stole him away around midnight because I wanted company. Besides, I have dibs on him anyway.

Oh yeah, his new furniture was delivered today and I did not know this but the guys from Ikea will build the stuff for you for a price. So, the new sofas, his new desk and oh what the hell is the word for that like desk behind the desk where you stick stuff? He got one of those, too. He also got a coffee table, nice lamps and end tables. Thanks, Chris told me it is a credenza. He even got some nice chairs and a new office chair, but that is for Tatianna because Chris loves his really expensive office chair that goes with nothing. He even got rugs so no more freezing my feet in there. It does look nice even though I am not a fan of Ikea, but he is Swedish, so it is like something they love. Now, he just needs to get all the boxes unpacked that are in the hallway and around his space. He has too many action figures, Japanese comic books and movies, but he says when he is done putting all he has away, he will still lots of space. I am little worried about the 2 walls of glass doors because glass breaks. Oh, he got a ship date for the huge girl with blue hair he bought like last year. It is on a boat and it will be here in like June or July. I had forgot he spent all that money for it but if it makes him happy I am ok with it. She is actually, if the picture is right, kind of cute. Just that a 6 foot tall plastic statue is a little freaky. I swear, if they made a Pansy like that, he would pay whatever they asked. I think he loves Pansy more than me. He saw that and said that is the truth.

Gosh, I am chatterbox today. I just saw the dogs running around outside chasing a bunny. We have bunnies in our backyard because of my garden and they are too cute. Oops, Violet spun out into the back fence. Poor girl has such short legs that when she gets going fast she cannot turn like Allie. Ok, Frankie, I will mention you and your sister. Frankie thought it was a good idea to try to steal some chicken from my salad. I just have to tell her no and she just curls up on the table and hopes I change my mind. Annette is not as smart. I have to whack her with a magazine to make my point. And, Chris just yelled. Sounds like the laundry for the downstairs people was overflowing. I do not know why he goes down there to clean up but he is a clean freak, so he probably cannot take their mess being so close to him. I feel sorry for them because they get another speech about being sloppy. Tatianna got that speech on Sunday morning when she left her dirty clothes in the laundry room and told him to get on it. I swear, I thought he was going to spank her or something. Chris was funny then, he was asking how a girl can dirty like 25 pieces of underwear in a a week. He said he is going to buy her Depends and that is all I am gonna say. I guess I better stop and eat my lunch, both cats are eyeing me and think I might be done and they get the leftovers. Laters.
 

grabarkewitz

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Lovely day in the less frozen confines of Quebec. Herself is off to her dance class, they will be in the early afternoon now and she had to ask the silly question if she still looks good. Her class is full of all these younger girls ans she is worried she looks fat or flabby. I told her she puts those fetuses to shame. Got the million watt smile for that one and my day is done.

Just finishing up the office. Good choice on the flooring. I can slide across it in my socks and it goes with the new furnishings. Just have to finish putting everything in it's place. Good lord, I have a lot of toys and stuff. When you buy it one or two pieces at a time, it doesn't seem like a lot but when you put all of it up at once, it is a massive undertaking. All I really have left is putting away over a hundred plastic tubs, I am lucky they fit together and take up less space. Still, I have to store most of them at our storage, which is getting packed, because room here at Casa Torgrimsson is getting a bit tight.

Dogs are barking. Probably should take them for a walk. It is a nice day and a walk to Tim Horton's for a afternoon donut and coffee sounds good. Might even stop by the bank and see if Tatianna wants to join me for a munchie. Got a little pissed at Tatianna last night and I owe her an apology. But, she has a new car and she is not taking care of it like she promised and missed that two of her tires are really low on air. Still, I didn't need to get mad at her at dinner. She is really sensitive these days because she is keeping tabs on her ex and because he appears happy, she is miserable in kind. Still learning on how to deal with women even though I have been married to Herself for over thirty years. Paula is easy but Katja (and Jos to some extent) and Tatianna are different animals. The Boy was easy, just tell him to take a daily shower and we were good. The girls always seem to be on the verge of bawling if I give them a stern look. Oh well, time to take the dogs for a stroll and try to make it right with Tatianna. Needed to unburden myself before facing the music as it were.
 

grabarkewitz

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No Herself this afternoon. She is at her last Jazz Dance class, then they progress to Hula. I am good with the grass skirt but the leotards are nice too. Nice day in Merry Olde Quebec. Dogs have been walked, donuts have been eaten and had lunch with two of my favorite girls at an outdoor bistro. Now, just waiting for the grandkids to be dropped off so I can fill them up on sugar and toys so that their mother can call me names and wag her finger at me. Funny, the minute I type that the grandkids are coming over, both Frankie and Annette make for higher ground. They do not like Bayley or Luc much. Probably because both cats have long tails and the little ones seem to step on them all the time. Spent Wednesday night at a nice restaurant where we could sit - six feet from anyone - and eat a dinner served by a wait staff. Almost heaven. Went to a Szechuan place called Szechuan Par Mr. Ma. Just the right amount of spice and the food was fantastic. Girls might've went too big as they figured since dear old dad was paying, they would get some to go items. It seems they ordered this while I was outside taking a phone call from the Boy. I am betting this was a plan in advance. Couldn't figure out why a dinner for five was over 220 Canadian, not counting tips.

Ballgame is on later today, right? I am not used to Friday afternoon ball games. That is okay, the grandkids will have plenty of room for Luc's fleet of trucks and cars and I will be asked to play with Bayley's dolls and stuff. Although, she is very into stuffies, now. Girl comes over with a backpack and bag of stuffed cats, tigers and lions. She has one helluva imagination. Her menagerie of stuffed toys have a queen, princess and I think a Parliament. I almost think she is putting together her version of an isekai where she ends up in a fantasy land as a tiger. She even prefers to wear cat ears in her hair, lately. One day, I will explain that turning into a cat is a downgrade. At least she has moved on from putting ribbons in my hair and trying to braid it. I dread the day when her mother explains make up to her because I am thinking I will be her practice dummy. I just hope she follows her mother's lead and uses makeup in moderation. Paula just likes eye shadow and something that makes her cheekbones look better. Speaking of Paula, the security camera shows that she is pulling into the driveway. She has a key so she can get into the house. With that, time to entertain my grandkids.
 

grabarkewitz

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Herself had her first hula class and she brought back a video on her phone and she is really good at it. She said she loves this class because she is not killing herself and because she is better than the fetuses in her class. I miss the grass skirt aspect, but I can appreciate the art nevertheless. Kill me, I love watching my wife do just about anything. Plus, she is uber happy and said she feels like twenty years younger. All good, in my opinion.

Was thinking of that Hawaiian delicacy known as Spam for dinner tonight, but I also know that Herself hates the stuff, so instead something more along the lines of her taste buds - stuffed pork chops. Got the apples and fennel, so she should be happy and I am going to try deep frying fingerling potatoes and Brussel Sprouts with bacon. I am not a huge fan of those foul mini cabbages, but I tried fried ones that Paula made the other day and they were not awful. Leave it to her to mess with my likes and dislikes. Speaking of my oldest child, she is dropping the grandkids off tomorrow after they finish remote schooling because she has to make another appearance at her job.

Otherwise, a nice day, if you consider low sixties nice. Dogs got their constitutional in and I am thinking another walk would not kill either, especially the fat, stubby one. I am liking that more and more of the local businesses are okay with dogs on leashes being in their establishments. Just have to watch the big one, she likes to take things from lower shelves like the loaf of oat bread at the bakery. Sorry, Herself is all excited, she says she needs some more bathing suits because the new ones she just bought are too big. This is an issue? I am perfectly fine with bathing suits falling off. She said that was pervy and I replied I aim to please. Of course she had to show me and Houston, we have a problem. So, I am off to several establishments to hold her backpack/purse while she spends three hours trying on suits. It is not all bad, she needs my approval and I get to judge each suit. Life is wonderfully good.
 

grabarkewitz

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Dinner is on it's way. Girls wanted something fattening and if we lived somewhere where good Mexican food was available, we would be having that. Instead, through many counter proposals, we are having Szechuan. Would be nice if someone other than me was paying for the feast, but that would be breaking with tradition. Grandkids were just picked up by their mom and Bayley ratted me out. Both got a huge Hershey bar for being good and not stepping on the cats and the first thing she tells Paula is that Papa bought us chocolate bars with a massive smile on her face. In her defense, she was the first because Luc was getting his chocolate covered shirt and face dealt with by Herself. Paula asked me if I wanted to pay their dentist bills and I asked if doctors made less than I was understanding. She came back that is not the point and then whispered that I don't get to deal with the sugar high. Told her she should do what I did, adopt kids when they are old enough to vote and drink. She said she would call me with a stronger statement later. I am so looking forward to this because all I have to do is remind her of the night I had to rescue a drunk Paula at a bar when her pants tore and were held together with scotch tape. I love that I am not senile enough to forget these heartwarming moments.

Speaking of heartwarming. Herself spent the dividend yesterday on swimsuits. Can I say I love dance classes? For someone who claims to be older than dirt, she sure is put together well. It took three hours and a ridiculous amount of money but she can still rock the skimpy bathing suit. I know she enjoyed spending the money and she was pretty sure I enjoyed being the judge of this beauty contest, but the new girl at La Vie en Rose needs to relax. Herself came out with a particularly skimpy white job and I gave a wolf whistle which caused this girl to let me know that behavior is not allowed near the fitting area. Her supervisor had to explain that Mr. Torgrimsson is granted access back here because he and his wife spend, and I quote, a freaking lot of money here. See, I am Mr. Torgrimsson at bathing suit/lingerie emporiums. Pretty sweet, huh?

If the order app is correct, our dinner is like five minutes away. Better go pay the kid who is delivering it. Can't have Katja answering the door, girl decided that today is the Daisy Duke/tube top day and I don't need some teenage boy having an accident at the front door. It is bad enough that she has to flaunt her new belly button ring and her new tattoo on her butt, but teenage boys become teenage stalkers really easy. Kid just drove up in an old Volkswagen bug. Bad sign, car practically exploded going up the driveway.
 

grabarkewitz

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Okay, much hilarity with the delivery kid. Katja did answer the door and as I got there, the kid - he had to be all of sixteen - was standing there with his eyes about to pop out. Trying to divert the kid's attention to me by waving some cash in his face, he finally noticed me. His first words weren't how much for the food or the courteous, "How's your day?", but "Is she your daughter?" I replied yes and then I took him aside while Katja was going through the bags for something and put my arm around his shoulder and told him to put his eyes back in his head and told him three facts to move him along - 1. she is twice your age and then some. 2. she is married. 3. she likes girls. Kid did not even stop to think and instead said, "So, I have a shot." I love confidence but stupidity is not encouraging.

At this time, the other two of my lodgers show up and the kid about lost his mind. He acted like we were old friends by then and asked who the redhead was. I explained she is married to the one who answered the door. A quick disappointed look then he asked, "Well, who is the black girl?" I said, she is not black, she is mixed race like my wife. I also explained she is sitting the fence and he doesn't have the money or other base requirements to keep her happy. Then, he says you have a wife? I asked him what he expected, a German Shepherd? At this point, Herself shows up asking what the hell is holding up dinner. He looks at her and I said, "Young man, choose your words carefully. Your tip depends on it." He asks if she is married or likes girls. I said, "Yes and no. You figure out the answers." Kid stammers out, "She is married to you?" With that, I handed him his tip and told him that I better not be hearing his POS Volkswagen puttering up and down the street after hours, I would hate to hear that he turned up missing one night. He thought I was joking and I had a good laugh with him with the last words being I might be kidding. This was the topic at dinner and one would've thought I was Bill Burr from all the laughing. Katja thought it was particularly funny because the kid was all of about 5-4.
 

grabarkewitz

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Another fine day in La Belle Provence Quebec. Because I fed the grandkids chocolate, I get to watch them again. Seems they were hellions with Paula the other day and she said she needed a mental health day. I don't know what she is talking about. They are good for me and Herself, when she is about. Today was another day of dance class and of course, she stopped by McDonalds for Happy Meals for the little darlings although Bayley is making it clear she wants a "big person hamburger" from now on. I suppose that means something like a McDouble or a McChicken. I can't see her eating a Big Mac or any of the other burgers at McDonalds. It was girls day after their meal because Herself got her brushes out and was all about brushing Bayley's waist length hair. I think she needs a haircut, but when I broached that subject with Paula I got a mind your own kids speech, so I suggested that Paula let her hair go back to brown and then ducked.

It was cool, Luc and myself built some Legos and watched some One Piece on Funimation. Kid loves that show, so he has good taste. Even got time to go outside and try to play catch. He has a pretty good arm but catching the ball is still a hard concept. At least he doesn't run away from the ball or is scared of the ball. I bought him a batting tee but he would rather throw the ball than anything. His sister is the ballplayer right now, she is pretty good at all aspects of ballgames and when she starts playing softball I gotta feeling she is going to hit a few home runs. She likes to watch Cody Bellinger and she mimics his swing pretty well.

Wednesday night so we are going out for dinner. I might as well invite Paula and her's because I am feeling like pizza is a good idea and the more the merrier at a pizza parlor. Just gotta find one where we can eat al fresco, as it were. Either that or end up getting the meal delivered and having to keep an eye on Ally because she has been known to try to steal a slice if it gets too close to the edge of the table. I guess it might be dinner here. Herself and the two little ones are watching Hamtaro and I could drop a vase near them and they would not notice. Okay, time to sneak off and watch Princess Soran, a nice werewolf anime and a bit too adult for kiddage and maybe rewatch Koikimo, not as adult but still probably not the subject matter for young kids being as how it is the story of a 26 year old executive falling for his seventeen year old sister's best friend and the best friend has a sharp tongue. Only in Japan does this seem to be an issue. I am watching two new shows with this similar premise but the other one is about a runaway who ends up being taken in by a salaryman because he is worried she might be selling her body for a place to sleep. I am still bending my head around that one because it has yet to be explained why a sixteen year old is 300 miles from her home and no one is looking for her. I imagine the story will get fleshed out. Okay, I am now needed to make cookies because someone saw a chocolate chip cookie ad.
 

GolferGirl

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Hi, I am lazy today. I got breakfast in bed and I do not know why. Chris seems really happy today and he let me sleep in and then brought me a plate of French toast and bacon. I am still working on the coffee he brought me and even though it is past 12, I am still camped out in my jams in bed with a toasty dog. I like this hula class, I am not as sore but Tatianna says I look jacked, yoked and ripped. I know my tummy is looking pretty killer and my thunder thighs are not as thunder. I think, when I get to getting out of bed, I might give the mirror a thrill.

Yesterday, I got to watch cartoons with my little angels and Bayley let me brush her hair. She has the most beautiful hair, it has just enough curl without being super curly like Tatianna's, so it is easier to brush and Paula refuses to have it cut even though Bayley sometimes sit on it and pulls it. Her hair has to be from Thierry because both me and Paula and Katja have the straightest hair ever. We just have thick hair and so does Bayley. Luc does too. Paula also did not want Luc's hair to be cut, but Thierry said he had to put his foot down and Luc gets regular haircuts. Still, we had fun and I do love spending time with my grandkids. I just have to share them with Chris, Katja, Jos and Tatianna and the dogs when they are here and I am selfish, I want them all the time.

We had pizza last night and it was a party. Both Paula and Thierry came over. Go to hell Justin the Stupid. I cannot believe that all 9 of us ate 4 extra large pizzas, but we did. Jos said she got a tummy ache from eating so much. Chris even got a spicy pizza with jalapenos and hot sausage on it and it was really, really good. He loves that spicy stuff. We had a ton of fun and because Paula was still grumpy with Chris about the Hershsy bars, she tried to give him some crap. That was her mistake, Chris never forgets anything and he had to tell about the dumb things Paula did in the past. We had to send the kids into the other room because some of it was pretty nasty. The broken zipper on her skirt story is still the funniest thing I have ever heard and I was there when it happened. Chris just has a way to tell a story that makes it funny. Even though Paula has this great tan, you could tell she had a red face during that story. She tried to save herself by telling about Katja and her adventure in a changing room at a JC Penneys a long time ago. I do not know if I have ever told this story but this was about a month after Katja and Paula had moved in with us and Katja needed something more than torn jeans and t-shirts, so me and Paula took her to the JC Penneys in, I think, Oakland, to look for some nicer clothes. Katja had her hair up in her baseball cap and at that time she looked like a very tall, skinny guy. This was way before she got her boobs done, so she was flat like I was back then. So, she is trying on some dresses and this was when Katja liked to wear men's underwear, you know tighty whities and she is trying to put the sun dress on and some old lady opens the drape and starts screaming that a man is changing in the ladies changing rooms. Suddenly, all the security guys show up and there is Katja telling them she is a girl and then saying, fuck it and pulling down her drawers for the attendant. Katja screaming see I am a girl killed us. Me and Paula are out there dying because this was when Katja would get angry and fight. You could hear Katja yelling the whole time that she was a girl and wanting to go fight the lady who screamed at her. Now, that I think about it, Chris even said she looked like Paula's brother when she showed up on out doorstep. Just a whole lot taller. Poor Katja is trying to hide under the table and Jos is just giving her a look like she wishes she would have been there. It just amazes me how much she has changed since then. She looked like a guy and her hair was always a mess and now she is all beautiful and no one would ever think she was a guy. I guess being happy, a boob job, hair dye and dressing like a girl works.

Ok, I gotta get dressed because Chris promised me a day. I know the Fed Ex guy showed up because I heard him and Chris talking and Violet got all excited because someone new can pet her and that person may have treats. I hope he does not have lunch plans for me, I cannot eat another bite. All right, I am getting started, in a minute or two. Bed is comfy and getting into the shower seems like lot of work. Laters.
 

GolferGirl

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It is Saturday morning and I just woke up. Yesterday's hula class was intense and some of the fetuses started to complain that their hips hurt. I have an evil laugh. The only part of me that is sore is my tummy because I was laughing so much and some of the exercises are kind of hard on my tummy. Sam even complained and she is like Super Mom because she lifts weights and does pilates all the time. She wants me to do pilates too but dancing is enough right now.

I smell waffles, so Chris must be feeding the girls. I guess everyone slept in, I think. Ally just came in, barked at me and then got the zoomies. Oops, Frankie did not get out of the way quick enough. Poor kitty is now a statistic. Something about a train and the tracks would work there. Frankie is on the corner of the bed hissing at the dog as she races by. I just got hollered at, my breakfast is getting cold and he needs to change the sheets so getting up is something I need to do. Guess I am closing up the laptop and finding my slippers because the last time I was slow to get off the bed when Chris is doing laundry I ended up on landing on my butt on the ground. Laters.
 

GolferGirl

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Damn, it is cold outside today. Got dressed and went for a walk to go get our lunch and I had to go back inside to get a jacket and put on some boots instead of the sandals I had on. Girls did not seem to mind, they were getting a free lunch. So, there are all 5 of us walked into town because the big goof likes his exercise and then we end up at A&W because Chris loves root beer. I do not like A&W that much, so I complained and so did Tatianna. Chris gave in and we ended up at Dagwood's. I love that place, it is like a really nice Subway with better sandwiches. The best part is that they have a covered area where you can eat and we got to sit down, eat and then figure out the rest of the day. Got a the pepperoni and ham which is so good. The only bad part was eating a whole sandwich and having to walk back home. Now, we are waiting for Chris and Jos, both of them are doing something and the rest of us are waiting. Me, Katja and Tatianna would leave but Chris is paying for our fun and we are going into the city for some power shopping. Well, what else do you do on a Saturday?

Chris is done, but now we are waiting for Jos. I think she is on the phone with her sister. Great, now Chris is watching a cartoon. Really, now the other 2 girls are into it. Something about a girl who loves teasing an older boy who looks like a bookworm. I guess it must be funny, those 3 are laughing like idiots. Oh boy, Amazon driver just showed up and Chris got a box of books. I opened it because I am bored. Something about being in love with a Soapland girl. Hey, there are not a lot of pictures, it is like a novel. I guess he can read a book without pictures. Now, waiting on these 3 because Jos is done. Lost Jos, she is sitting with them in front of the tv. I think I will talk to the cats, stupid Japanese cartoons. I live with a bunch of kids. Yay, they are done and we can go and do something I like. Laters.
 

GolferGirl

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Hi, sore as crap. I pulled something in my ribs the other day and it still is kind of aching. I did not know I even had a muscle there. Sitting around with a heating pad there for most of the day. It would be nice if it was not going to snow in like 5 minutes. It was cold yesterday and today was even colder and tomorrow we are supposed to get a foot of snow. I am not happy. It was so nice last week and then this shit.

We just ate dinner. It was late because we could not agree on what we wanted and then Chris said, get back to me when you guys decide, I am going to read my books. Those books must be good. He read the second book all afternoon long and all he does is say wow or this is great. Yesterday was cartoon day for him. He watched that one about the 4 girls who try to save their best friends from committing suicide. All he said was there better be a season 2 so I guess they did not save them yet. Not like any Bugs Bunny cartoon I ever heard of. I did sit with him and watch the one with the guy who is a boss and his little sister's best friend, who he is in love with. That was like the cutest thing ever. They exchanged XMas gifts and Chris is over there tearing up. Katja got home and asked if Chris had watched the show and he said yes and she got all pissed at him and told him no spoilers. She then watched it and they both had a hug and a sniffle. I do not know what I am going to do with them.

Dinner was pretty good. I did not know I wanted Szechuan so soon but Jos and Tatianna did, so that is what we got and it was great. We get mousse for dessert, bu it is awful late and I am going to go upstairs and soak. I would go outside and soak in the hot tub but I saw some snowflakes and that is not happening. Chris is talking to his brother. It seems like that happens about every other night. For a long time they would not talk but now that there are only the 2 of them, they seem to get along a lot better. These sore ribs will not soak themselves, so laters.
 

GolferGirl

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Snowing, snowing and more snowing. At least it smells good in here. Chris is making some kind of Thai stew that smells spicy and good. I feel better today I cuddled last night with Chris and my ribs did not hurt too much, so I went to hula class and I did not hurt anything except my big toe when I stubbed it on a chair. Did I tell you we do this class in bare feet and today we had the heated room, so we could dance in fake grass skirts and bikini tops which is really cool because I got to see I am in a helluva lot better shape than these fetuses. I felt really good about myself and I loved that I got mean glances from the brats who's rich husbands pay for them to stay in shape. Fuck them all, this 52 year old is rocking a hot bod and you are not. Neener. Even Sam said she is envy of me because she is only 37 and she hopes she can be this fit when she is older. At first she said old and I gave her a mean look. Chris says I have a scary mean look. Maybe I do.

So, last night after I typed, I wanted to see what was so great about the books Chris was reading and I started the first one and stayed up until 2:30 in the morning reading it. OMG, it was so sad and also really cute. I actually cried when the main girl person told some about her life. I cannot believe that someone would sell a girl to a whorehouse when she was 16 and either she did what they told her or she would be homeless. I was so happy when she met the main guy even though it was funny when he could not have sex with her because he was 27 and she was 16 and he said it was wrong but she was like used before then by all kinds of old men. I want the 2 main people to get married or something because she is scared and lonely and he just lonely but the sweetest person ever. The girl lives with the guy because she was so bad at being a sex toy that she got fired and ended up in this guy's apartment where she cooks, cleans and sleeps on a futon but not with him. Chris says the second book is even better and you find out why her family sold her to a whorehouse or they call it Soapland, something about baths and stuff. I have seen that in Japan. They have some bathhouses where a girl will wash a guy's back and other things for money. All I gotta say is Chris better not ever visit one of them when we go back to Japan or he will be in trouble.

Ok, Katja just called to tell us she is back on the island and will be home in 30 minutes. She said the roads are a disaster and the snow is even worse on the mainland. She was supposed to go to the First Nation's place but they turned her around at the freeway saying only firetrucks and ambulances could use the road. She was driving around with 4 boxes of Tim Horton's for the medical offices there and ended up dropping off boxes are her other visits and no one can turn down a donut. I am glad she is not bringing them home, I am hungry enough to eat like 6 of them. All I have eaten today is an apple and some cottage cheese. I woke up late and when I got home, Chris was out shopping for ingredients for his stew. I asked him bring me back a burger and he did, but I did not want a monster A&W one. I will just give it to Katja, she loves those mess machines a ton. I just ate a thing of cottage cheese and had a hot tea. Dinner better be good because I am going to eat a ton. Gotta go, grandkids on the phone. Laters.
 

GolferGirl

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Hi, good afternoon. Still snowing but not as bad as yesterday. Our back and front yard are still covered in white nasty stuff and the only ones who are happy are the dogs because our dogs love snow. Chris just made me a turkey and Swiss sandwich for lunch with an ice tea. Ice tea seems stupid when it is like freezing but 2 cups of coffee and a hot tea warmed me up. Started reading that second book that Chris got called I fell in love with a Soapland Girl. Chris is right, this story gets better. The girl was hired by a soda company, the main guy's company. Chris said it is Suntory but I do not know if that is famous and she made a commercial that went viral and now her bitch of an aunt is trying to blackmail her for all the money she is making. When the main girl told her life story, I wanted to cry. She was a happy kid, then her parents got a divorce and neither wanted her around, so they pawned her off on the aunt and the aunt made her work in a whorehouse at 15 and kept all the money she made because she was a minor. Something about the girl could not have a bank account unless the aunt was on the paperwork. One of her scumbag clients was a big time executive who wanted her to himself, so he got her a summer job at this soda company and she was to make the commercial. RIght now, she and her like boyfriend, the guy she shares an apartment with and some of their friends are planning on taking down the aunt and it is really interesting. It is wild because the first book was the guy talking mostly and now this one is the girl doing all the talking. I do not read very fast but I am just plowing through this book like nothing ever before.

Enough about my reading. I finished my lunch, gave Chris a huge kiss for being so nice to me all the time and I am going to try some yoga to see if I can stretch out my ribs and burn off my lunch. Tonight we are having ribs and baked beans, so no matches around here. Katja stayed home today, she is not feeling too good. She got home yesterday and she was sneezing and her nose was red. She says it is allergies but Chris told her if she does not stop looking all pale, he is taking her to the hospital. Right now, she is cuddled on the sofa across from me drinking her hot tea with honey and lemon in it. She says she feels better but she says she is also achy and kind of tired. I told her it would not kill her if she took a shower because she smells right now. She just stuck her tongue out at me because I said it out loud. Ok, she is getting her blanket and asked if she could use our shower because she can sit in there and she loves all the shower head things we have in there. I told her she better get something to wear because I do not want to see her wandering around here in a towel. Girl still cannot tie up a towel so it stays tied. I do not know how many times that girl has been in the kitchen in her bath towel and it falls off. I am just saying this because Chris is in the kitchen trying to make baked beans from scratch and I am sure that will be her first stop after her shower to get a pear or some veggies. She will also leave her dirty jams on the floor in our bathroom because she always does that. Ok, time for some yoga because I need to burn off my lunch.
 

GolferGirl

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Hi. Just got relaxed after Hula class. Today was funny because the teacher was telling us to wear bathing suits so it would be more like real and some of the fetuses went too far and came in with stuff you would only wear on a beach in France. Teacher looked at me and Sam in our grandma type 2 piece suits and said that is what I meant. We were so proud of ourselves for not wearing the barely there bathing suit. So, the fetuses had to buy something in the shop that did not show too much skin. Then they had to catch up because the teacher said she was not going to wait for them. So we got all our stretching done and were already into some new movements when the fetuses showed up and they had to catch up. I know both me and Sam were giggling at them because they are really brats.

Today is fish taco day. Chris bought some rock cod and he is marinading it for the tacos. Right now, he is reading a new book he got today, something by his friend in Japan who writes scary stories and I am not reading that one. His friend is like a person from a scary movie anyway. His voice is spooky and when he stares at you, it is creepy. At least I got lunch today. Chris made his corn chowder because it was cold this morning and it was so good that I had 2 bowls. Katja finished it up because she decided to play hooky today. She could have went to work but she said she needed a day off to recover from her cold. I know she is well because she was all lovey dovey with Chris to get her breakfast. She had to have waffles and bacon, so he made her up her banana waffle and lots of bacon. Now, she is trying to slide across the floor in her bare feet because she likes being a kid. And, she falls on her butt.

I had better take a shower. I should have taken one at the dance school but the last time I did, some of the fetuses were watching me or I thought so and I am not as not shy as I thought. Just like high school, I was the girl who took her shower with a towel around me. Sam said they were checking out my tattoos but I do not know. Some of those girls like to talk too much. I just remember my gym teacher in high school telling us to mind our business in the shower and that meant looking down and getting in and out fast. Ok, enough high school terror stories and time to finish this third book that Chris lent me. It is really good because the girl has had to stop a bully at school and she is also trying to figure out how her roommate will treat her like a woman instead of what they call a JK which I think means Just a Kid. I know I had a crush on a teacher in high school but I never would have the guts to go as far as this girl is going to go. Ok, I am going to take that shower and it is warming up finally, so I might go outside and leave some lettuce and carrots for the bunnies who live in our backyard. The one big gray one will come to me and take the carrot out of my hand, but the other 3 just wait until I leave before eating. They have gotten comfy here because they do not run away from the dogs who just want to sniff them and hope they hop around. Ally still likes to bark at them but she barks at shadows and the moon. Laters.
 

GolferGirl

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Super nice day. Chris got our motorcycles out last night and got them all cleaned up and ready to go and we went on a ride around the island this morning and it was a blast. It has been so long since I rode mine that my butt was sore when we finally stopped for breakfast. We ended up on the other side of the island and it was not too windy or anything. We stopped all over the place to look in shop windows and stuff I love to do. I think Chris was seeing what I might want for Mother's Day. I saw some things I liked in this like antique shop and I know Chris was taking notes. I love days like this when we both can do something and not have to worry about the girls or the grandkids. I wish I had the English for the word but whatever. Even at 52, I am still learning English and sometimes I feel like that little Brazilian girl in kindergarten who only knew like 6 words of English and cried a lot because I could not get what was going on. Ok, enough with me getting all crybaby but I love that I am happy and have the greatest husband and kids ever.

Oh cool, Chris is getting the stuff ready for a barbecue. Looks like the easy stuff like hamburgers and chicken but stuff I love. Yay, he is going to try to make pork, well bacon, and beans with molasses and brown sugar, too. My job is to cut up tomatoes and onions for the burgers. I can handle that. Tatianna is goofing on Chris saying he needs to stand in the sun some more because he is kind of pale. He is getting huffy with her telling her he is Swedish and they are pale until May. He then wiped his hands on the back of her tank top and now she is hand prints on her back. She just told Chris he is a pervy old man who wanted to feel up a young girl's back. He shot back, back or front, it would be the same because she is flat. She is now trying to chase him through the kitchen with some salad tongs. I love watching those two have fun with each other because Tatianna needed a dad in her life and a friend and she got both with one person. I think it is cute when she calls him Papa and then makes him nuts when she will come up behind him and either stick a cucumber on his shoulder that freaks him out or she blows in his ear and he really hates that.

Super cool, now. Paula just called and she and Thierry are on their way for dinner. Yay, grandkids. I wish Sam and Brogdan could come over but they are flying to visit Brogdan's family in Europe for a week. No Sam for Hula class but that is okay. I made some friends I can buddy with in class and I owe them a lunch, anyway. Told Katja the pool would be cold even though it is heated but she had to test it out and found out that it is still a little icy. She kept on saying Oh God until she got out and I think she was blue when she got out. I feel sorry for Jos, she is working today at home on some stuff for the bank and I hope she can finish before dinner. They offered her a job in Toronto but she turned it down. She is happiest here and likes her branch and the people she works with, like Tatianna. Oh wow, those are good. Chris is making fruit filled tarts and he made one each for me and the girls and the peach one is good, but the apple one is great. He said he might try to make fruit filled pastelles. Most of the times pastelles are filled with meat or veggies, but Chris spent yesterday cutting up fruit and stuff and I see now what he is going to do. I know when Paula gets here she will grab an apron and start in on the baking. If she was not a doctor, I think she would have been a cake maker or some kind of baker. She just loves making cookies and desserts. Wow, that was fast. Chris said Thierry and Paula just drove up. Gotta go, I got grandkids to play with. Laters.
 

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Ok, grandkids and their mom and dad went home. Bayley and Luc got carried out on me and Chris's shoulders, both were worn out from playing and running around. Best day ever. The girls are cleaning up because they got a super good meal for free. Chris is either watching a ballgame because he is cussing or he is building something that is not working out. I am sitting on the sofa looking outside at the stars and clouds. Pretty nice night because it is supposed to be wet tomorrow but not so cold.

Dinner was fun. The beans were really good but really really sweet. Chris and Paula made a nice layer cake for dessert. Chocolate and vanilla with raspberry filling and a nice dark chocolate ganache. I learned a new word today, ganache. It was so good you did not need ice cream. Most of us only had small slices because it looked so rich but Katja got a huge slice and pigged out because she can. I can hear Katja and Tatianna arguing about a Japanese cartoon about some kid who goes back in time to try to stop a meeting which will end up killing his girlfriend 12 years in the future. Katja says it is a rip off of a show called Erase and Tatianna says it is different. I am sure those two will argue for hours about it.

I guess Chris gave up on the ballgame because he asked if the seat next to me is open. Cool, he is making me an ice tea and we are going to watch the stars. Laters, my dance card is now full.
 

GolferGirl

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Bleh day! Did not rain but it was not warm and it was kind of sucky. That was ok. I had Hula class and I got some new friends because Sam was gone. They are Sylvain and Therese. They are just kids, both are like 28 but they have their afternoons free, no kids must be nice too. One's hubby is big boss at some computer company and the other is married to somebody who is related to the rich people who own some brewery. It is pretty neat, I am like the older friend who knows shit. They like that I am or try to be nice to everyone and they like Chris, but I will fix that. Cannot have fetuses trying to make time with the big goof, he will get ideas. Chris with him being tall and having long hair makes them think he is some rock star, like real, or that he is a pirate. I did not say they were smart. It did not help that he was wearing that stupid eye patch because some days his eye will hurt from sunlight. Ever since that last surgery he gets headaches when the sun is oh fuck what is the word. I do not remember but it is when the sun shines off of things and flashes. So, he looks like a pirate sometimes and I like that too. It is like he is a cool Johnny Depp with better hair and he does not look like he is almost 100.

We just finished dinner. We had a real lasagna with ground beef and veal and spinach and tons of cheese. Chris even made fresh bread and sauce from scratch. I love that he likes cooking because we would starve if I had to cook. All I can do is try to follow the box or can instructions and sometimes I screw up. I guess we could have Jos or Katja cook but they are kind of into each other after work and sometimes they are late for dinner because of well you know what I am talking about. Does not have to be dark for them to play scrabble. Right now, I am reading the rest of that third book Chris bought last week. I am almost done but I hope there is more because no one is getting busy yet and the girl is doing all she can to get the guy to get some. She even tried walking around and having her towel fall off and he said he is too old for her. Shit, he is 27 and she is now 17, I do not get it. I was 19 when I married Chris and he was 31, so what is the big deal? I need to go back to Japan and ask some questions.

Cool, choices for dessert. Either chocolate chip cookies or because someone found a whole bunch of strawberries at Provigo, Strawberry Shortcake with real whipped cream, not that canned shit. I voted for the shortcake. So, yes we are having shortcake. Giggles. I love shortcake. He said he will whip it up in an hour but right now he is watching some cartoon about a kid teaching his older cousin magic, math, reading and writing and she likes to beat him up with her lion looking girl bodyguard. Whatever, it seems funny and the kid is like 40 in his head because he is always having dirty thoughts and steals undies. I wish Chris would watch this stuff with the English on but I have to read the bottom and it goes way too fast sometimes. Tatianna is looking over my shoulder watching what I am typing and being a pest. I may have to pulll her hair. I am back, she gave me a Wet Willie and I chased her into the kitchen and hit her with a wooden spoon on the butt. She went crying to Chris and he said something about time out and I reminded him that 2 can play that game. He told Tatianna to take it like a man. Now, she is pissed. She said do I look like a man and Chris looked at the ceiling and she hit him with a pillow. She does not look like a guy but Chris knows she is really unhappy she does not have much boobs. I think, for her next birthday, one of us will have to buy her a new set. Eww, that sounded gross. Ok, I read some of what I typed and I am pretty goofy tonight, so laters. Time to eat some shortcake.
 

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Still up. It is kind of late for me but I drank like a gallon of coffee today and now I have a rumble tummy and I hope I can sleep tonight. It was just cold today and I wanted to drink warm or hot stuff, so lots of coffee and tea today. No dance class today but Chris and me went out to the mall for some stuff and then ended up at Costco because we needed coffee. I have no idea why. Yeah, right.

Dinner was the Tuesday taco thing and I was happy. Lucky we can get some good tortillas at Costco and they have salsa from the US. Chris made chicken and flank steak tacos which were really spicy but so good. Dessert was the chocolate cookies that Chris did not make the other night. He made the big ones with white chips and macadamia nuts. Where he found those nuts I do not know because we never find them at Provigo or Costco that often. I have mine with ice cream. Chris is watching some Japanese cartoon because he said baseball sucks right now. Oh it is that one with the two sisters who are in love with their step brother. Of course he has the dirty version. Oh wait, he says it is uncensored. Whaterver the hell. Crap, just sneezed over the screen. Gross. Ok, cleaned it up but wow.

I am watching one of those paranormal shows with Ozzy Osbourne's son and it is pretty spooky but also funny. Ok, got company, Tatianna says she cannot sleep and no she cannot sleep with me and Chris. Girl needs to get a something to sleep with her, boy, girl or the cats. I do not know how many times I have woke up in the morning to find her on the foot of the bed curled up. I know she gets lonely but she is over 30 and should be over that stuff. I get why Katja does, she gets bad nightmares but Tatianna's parents were just dumb, Katja's parents did not give a shit. Yeah, I am talking shit about my cousins because a lot of my family is fucking stupid or what is freaking word. Chris just told me, self-obscessed idiots. Freaking spellcheck is not my friend. Ok, I am taking some cookies to bed and a big glass of milk. Laters.
 

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5:30 and dinner already smells good. Tonight is chili and honey cornbread. Chris made it with all kinds of ground meat and I smell cinnamon. It is cold again today and nasty. It is trying to rain and we are supposed to get a lot of rain tomorrow. No hula class today but yesterday was a lot of fun. We got to dance on sand. They brought it in and it was really nice but cold. I think warm sand would make it easier.

I got happy dogs. They are playing chase and the cats are hissing at them because they are stuck up on high places. The first kid is home already. Katja got off earlier than usual and was home at 5. She was all wet. She said it was pouring in Vermont and she was bringing in her bags and stuff and got hit with a huge downpour. So, she had to drive home all wet because she forgot to pack a change of clothes like she usually does. Her first words in the door were that f'ing ass is chapped. This time she made sure to put her wet stuff in the hamper and roll the hamper up to the laundry so it does not like get moldy. Chris asked her why she took a dip in Lake Champlain. She is now all better, she sampled the chili, made herself a half pb&j and flopped down in her bike shorts and t-shirt in front of the fireplace. I told her a hot shower might be a good idea but she said it was too much work. Only she would say a hot shower would be too much work. Now she wants me to brush her hair because she does not have the energy to do it herself. This should be fun, wet, frizzy hair that goes almost to her knees. Well, laters.